


In The Peaceful Quiet

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Resistance Ben Solo [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Poe Dameron, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben Solo can’t picture an alternate galaxy where everything went wrong.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Resistance Ben Solo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876036
Kudos: 10
Collections: Darkpilot Creator Breakdown, Trope Bingo: Round Fifteen





	In The Peaceful Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Free Space — Fix-It Fic
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
It still feels _weird_ not having the Voice in his head, Ben can’t help but think. Weirder still being alone in his room, where everything’s quiet. It’s the quietest it’s been in...twenty-three years?  
  
Kriff, he can go with that.  
  
He’s lying awake in his room on the _Grimtaash,_ and his head is too full of nightmares to fall asleep. In his nightmares, he’s back in the hut on Adani, with the glow of Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber over him — a glimpse of what could have been if he’d woken later, after his uncle narrowly fought back against the mind control that he was under. (Though it doesn’t explain the fact his uncle forgot to shut off his lightsaber. Who says nightmares have to make sense?)  
  
In his nightmares, he loses everything. The Academy, going up in flames. Voe, Tai and Hennix, somehow dying. Poe, being tortured on a strange rack. His mom, his dad, his uncle — dying.  
  
He wonders if they’re visions or just stress dreams.  
  
Either way, he doesn’t want to go back to sleep. If he sleeps, he’ll fall back into that terrible alternate timeline.  
  
If he sleeps, everyone dies. Like the inverse of that horror holo they watched one Festival of the Dead, about a Sith ghost killing people in their dreams.  
  
So he gets up. He can hear the ship humming — there are different Jedi who are asleep. GeeGee, in low power mode; he can’t sense GeeGee, but the oscillations of energy, extending outwards...they’re there. (In a way, droids have a presence too)  
  
He finds Poe in the main hold, just then. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t startled. Kriff, he feels like a schoolboy with a crush. Maybe he is, in a way.  
  
“You’re awake,” Ben says.  
  
Poe nods. “Just had a rough sleep. That’s all.”  
  
“You too?” Ben can imagine. They very narrowly got everyone out of the Academy in time. Ben can feel the presences of everyone on the ship and he can thank the Force for the blessings it gives them, which seem very rare.  
  
“Yeah.” Poe sighs. "Just seeing...you...”  
  
Ben can catch a glimpse of how he looked. And Poe’s fear for him. How Ben looked — wild-haired and wide-eyed, looking like the galaxy ended in front of him.  
  
“You were afraid,” he says.  
  
Poe laughs, surprised. “You’re _shocked_ by this? Ben...you’re my friend. My best friend. I could be the best pilot in the galaxy and without you...”  
  
He trails off. It’s like he wonders if a galaxy without Ben is worth thinking about.  
  
“The Voice said...things.” Ben’s thumb worries a circle on his palm, as he remembers. “It told me that I was nothing to everyone but it.” _It._ It’s not a polite term, but at least, Ben thinks, how else do you describe something that seemed more like a concept than anything?  
  
“Ben...”  
  
“And it said that I was nothing to you,” Ben says. “I...know that isn’t true, but it wasn’t like the rest of me would listen to logic...”  
  
“Then it lied,” Poe says. “It lied about everything. It’s what the gremlins in your head and outside do. It’s how they try and take down a warrior.”  
  
Ben smiles faintly. “You think so?”  
  
“Yeah. You’re strong, and tough, and defended the Academy, and won against the voices in your head. And we’re going to win against who’s still out there. I know it, Ben.” Poe’s eyes are so full of hope and belief. "I believe in you, Ben. I always have.”  
  
Ben doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he’s already shaking, on the precipice of breaking down.  
  
“I believe in you too, Poe.” he says. “I believe in you more than anything.”  
  
He wonders if it can be a substitute for “I love you”. He’s always loved this beautiful, talented man. A man who simply loves and believes in people, who has a quick wit and a brave heart. And the Voice knew that, among other things. Preying on the idea that Ben was unimportant, insignificant...  
  
He doesn’t know if Poe’s in love with him. But he knows Poe believes in him — that he’s somehow worthy of this.  
  
***  
  
“We should get back to bed,” Poe says after a while talking, playing sabaac together (Ben lets Poe win. He can win, thanks to his mind-reading ability, but that wouldn’t be fair, would it?).  
  
“Yeah. Could you...stay?” A beat, as Ben realizes how intimate the request is. “I mean...you don’t have to...”  
  
Poe nods. “If you need me.”  
  
_I always do,_ Ben thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. Maybe he’ll find the strength to. One day.  
  
***  
  
“Reminds me of those Holonet stories,” Poe says lightly as they get comfortable in one bed. “If this was a Holonet story...” He sighs. “But it isn’t, is it? It’s a war.”  
  
“I know.” Ben sighs. “At least we have each other. All of us. Both of us.”  
  
“Yeah.” Poe smiles. “We do.”  
  
He closes his eyes then. Ben watches for a while, watches his hair fanned out around his face in soft curls, half a smile on his lips...at least before settling into sleep.  
  
For a change, his dreams are quiet.


End file.
